A Christmas Story-Fallen Snow

Small snowflakes settled on the tip of my nose. Its cool touch gave me comfort as I stood in the deserted cemetery. 
I was bundled in my red wool jacket and my homemade winter hat.
The tears fell upon my cheeks and rested there seemingly frozen by the cold winter air.
On days like today it used to bring the feeling of magic as Christmas approached. Today was dfferent, all I felt was sadness.
I ran my figer over the sharp points of the rose i held in my hand. I placed it upon the stone marked for her.
    She was my sister, Lizzie and today was her 12th birthday. Christmas was her favorite time of the year and mine too. This year was different. I could but only remember her pale face as she laid in her pale coffin.
   I was the one who found her that late spring day. We had been playing near the old water tower at the edge of town.
   The day was beautiful and the birds were singing. Yet there she was; lying peacefully with her brown hair, blood soaked. Her lifeless body resting where she had fallen. I must have been screaming because someone had pulled up in their car and ran to me.
    We knew not to play here but could not help ourselves. It was just off of the road and the woods behind the tower was our haven.
    We lived with our grandmother since child services took us away from our abusive parents.
    Today I wished that day had not happened, I wished that we had listened, I wished that she could be here setting up grandma's Christmas tree.
    No matter what star I wished upon, no matter what god I prayed to she was still gone.
     I shiver in the cold and reread her tombstone.
    Elizabeth Lillian Connor
Decemeber 10 2001-May 15 2013
Loving daughter, granddaughter and sister.
Gone too soon.

   I place a book wrapped in birthday wrapping paper. I used money from my job at the local grocery store to buy this for her. It was a favorite book of ours from the library. "Within a Painted Past". We read it together to escape the bad things at home.
   Lizzie would have been excited that I got my license the first try and was saving up for an old clunker.
   I miss her more than anything. She was always happy and loved to draw.
  Something to my right moved, and I turned to find a cardinal. He was bright red and hopped so he was perched on her tombstone.  He looked up at me for a moment, fluttered his wings and took off in the direction of the water tower.
   I decided to make my way back. I had never returned to it, I could not face the sorrow that now lived there.
   I followed the trees that lined the now busy street. Happy faces everywhere, decorations and light followed me.
   As I approached the tower an inner cold started and I began to shiver. Tears were starting to fall uncontrollably. 
   I could see the spot where she took her last breath. There he was, that cardinal. He was sitting upon the rock that had been placed to remember my beautiful sister. He stood like he had at the cemetery and did not move as I walked closer. I knelt down in the snow and he flew away. This time into the sky.
   I stopped and for the first time since my sister passed I smiled.

"Merry Christmas, Lizzie." I whispered through falling tears.

I did it!

So It took me a year but I finished my Novella it is in the process of being edited. I am going to be going for self publishing. I am super excited and nervous.
The self doubt has started but I will push on through because this is what I want to do.
I might end up sharing an excerpt of the story once I find a title and I will then be working on finding an artist to do my book cover.

I will be trying hard to keep up with this blog but it is hard to juggle everything, some things are more difficult than others.
Well whether anyone reads this or not I cannot wait to share my heart with everyone.

Obsessed with Social Media

    I love reading, writing and trying out new recipes. Yesterday I did 2 out 3. I hsve added another 500 words to Chloe's Encounters. It's the novella I am working on.
   This is awesome but not what I will be posting about. I found a delicious recipe for Homemade Alphabet soup.
   I scoured the internet looking for a great recipe and just to try it at Food & Whine's blog

I substituted Soya Sauce instead of Worcestershire Sauce,  since I had none on hand. I also used 1 1/2 tsps for both basil and oregano.  My goodness it was delicious. Thank you to her for writing out this recipe.

     It was so delicious I had two bowl fulls. So try it!!

Wow. I forgot about this again :)

          Being a mom and trying to write is a challenge, but as of today I have written a novella. I have written 20 536 words. Words have been taken out and put in. Edit Edit Edit!!! IT is a lot of work but I have so many people to help me with this process.
        I think i will share some of my poetry and stories on here. I love to write short suspense stories so here is one:

The Warning

 

This is something I have felt for years and have yet to understand it. Why must I know something bad will happen? 

    The leaves crunch underfoot as I make my way to the campus library. The wind holds a cold that seeps into my bones so I pull my hoodie up over my head and I stuff my hands in pockets. 

    The moon shines bright casting shadows that appear to be creatures. Autumn has this supernatural feel and always has since I was a child. 

    Today I feel a heaviness. This is not the first time nor the last. It used to scare me having this feeling, this intuition but after having dealt with it for 20 years of my life I have been able to put it in the back of my mind. 

    Some days it is "heavier" than others. 

    On the most heaviest of days things have happened around me. My first heavy day my father was attacked by a creature in the woods. I was 9 when that happened and was watching from the window when I heard the screams. I have never heard such a sound. It was horrific and I felt sheer terror that night.     I am the youngest of 4, the only girl. I was daddy's girl and it tore my heart when it happened. 

    We lived just outside of town in a small white bungalow. On one side we had a wheat field and on the other a long dirt road that lead to an abandoned cabin. on the other aide of the road was the forest. On summer days we would go tracking looking for small animals. For no other reason but to get dirty. It held many great memories until that winter night. 

   My father walked into the forest to call for our dog who ran in and had not returned all day. 

   This happened fairly frequently so there he went. My bedroom window faced the trees so I climb up on my bed and watch him call for Sady, our Springer spaniel. 

    That was the last time I saw my father alive. 

    Earlier that day I had this overwhelming fear of the woods. I felt like there was a monster. I felt scared and pleaded with my father to stay with me. 

    "But I have to go get Sady, silly girl." He ruffled my short blonde hair with his rough hands.

     So that night I watched him and still that feeling was there. He disappeared into the woods calling out Sady's name. I sat still waiting for him to return. The wind picked up and moved the trees back and forth. I felt it before I heard it. His screams echoed within my head for years and have only just recently subsided. 

    This is the feeling I have today and have had for more then a week. It's a warning. From who? and what about? Tonight I do what I normally do the weekend before a major test, i study at my college library. What will happen? 

I hope this finds the eyes of someone. Thank you and please stop by again.